Tired Of Hating
by TheInflictedFinger
Summary: NarutoSasuke yaoi narusasu.Naruto starts cutting himself to change the emotional pain into physical pain.Sasuke starts noticing changes in the kitsune[Warning: Much Angst] some Kakairu
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1

Acceptance

_**Warning!!!!-This fic has yaoi male/male pairings.And (unfortunately) I can't post lemon chapters on here, so please quickly scan over summary things that are after the chapter to see if I put up any links.Also, self-mutilation, attempted suicide, swearing, and maybe a older man (Kakashi or Iruka) paired with a 14 year old;(Im sorry for any spelling mistakes, but I can**_

**_t download the spell check onto my comp..and I can only reread my story so many imes...twitches-.-)_**

Thoughts: -Blahblah-

Aloud:"blahblah"

Shouting:"_blahblah"_

Right..er...you get it.

Naruto hoisted himself onto the bridge railing and glanced around."I'm actually the first one here!"He grinned and folded his arms behind his head, waiting patiently.

After a few minutes Sasuke appeared, leaping down from a tree to continue walking down the path.He stopped when he was past Naruto and leaned back against the bridge, cossing his arms.Naruto squinted, staring at him.

Annoyed, Sasuke scowled and looked away,"What are you staring at dobe?"

"Don't call me that idiot!"

Snickering, Sasuke smiled, leaning back,"Im only telling the truth dead-last."

-Grrrrrr...-Naruto eyed the dark-haired ninja and tried to appear uncaring.

Sakura came trooping down the path, brightening the instant she saw Sasuke.She waved enthusiastically, coming up beside them."Hey Sasuke."

"Hn.."

"Hey Sakura!How are you on this beautiful summer morning?"Naruto asked, leaning forward.

Pressing a palm to Naruto face, she pushed him away and sniffed,"I was talking to Sasuke, you shouldn't interrupt."She turned her back on him and addressed Sasuke once more,"Were you the first one here this morning Sasuke?Wow, you get up early!Must train a lot you sure have a lot of muscle.It makes you look really-"

Kakashi appeared in a cloud of chakra smoke in front of them.

"You're late!"Naruto and Sakura yelled together.

Kakashi sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his head,"Some cat was stuck in a tree,and I was the only one willing to help it so..."

"Liar!"Sakura huffed.

Coughing, Kakashi straightened,"Right well, your mission today is to help an ederly woman carry her groceries home."

The three students released a collective groan.

Kakashi raised his hands, smiling,"Im not the one who makes provides the missions, Im the one who makes sure you complete them."

Naruto raised his fist and whooped,"Let's go!"

Everyone stared blankly at him.

Sakura blinked,"aren't you going to complain?I think it sounds like a pretty easy mission.."

Shrugging, Naruto started off.Kakashi appeared in front of him,"Uh..other way;"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed off the railing with his elbows, then started off the path back towards the village, Sakura jogging to keep up with him.

Once again Kakashi disappeared.The blond haired ninja glared glumly at the backs of his fellow students and then itched his arm, staring at the ground."Hmph.."

-Hopefully after the mission we can go home..-He raised his eyes to stare at Sakura's back and sighed sadly.-I already feel tired..-

A fake grin plastered across his face and bounded after the two and pounced Sasuke, then continued on ahead.

"Argh!Dobe!"

"Naruto cut it out!"

A determined expression on his face, he jogged through the streets until he came face to face with Kakashi standing beside an old woman.

"This is the old hag we have to help out?"He questioned, indicating her.

Kakashi sweatdropped and gently took a couple bags from the ground, dropping them into Naruto's awaiting arms.

The old woman eyed him, filmy blue eyes nearly buried in deep wrinkles covering the haggard weathered face.

"Uhhh..right..you gonna show me where your house is?"

She scowled and hobbled off down the street, Kakashi stay behind, waiting for the other two.

Once they turned the corner the old woman wrinkled her nose,"I can't believe they made the fox demon a ninja."She eyed him.

Naruto lowered his head behind the bags, frowning.

"Why would we want you to help us?After all you did to our village?Why couldn't you just stay inside your house, and spare us all?Why do you have to pretend to be normal, to be a human?"

"Listen lady,"Naruto interjected, raising his head to stare directly at the back of her head,"Im carrying your groceries, and then leaving you alone.Why dont you stop pestering me and be a nice quiet old hag."

The old woman scowled, spinning around."Don't ever speak to me that way.You don't even have the right to show me your face!You disgust me."She eyed him and shook her head, turning away the open the door to her apartment."Set the bags on the counter and leave me."

Naruto resisted the urge to spit on her doorstep and padded inside the woman's house, hurriedly setting the bags on the counter and stalked out."Your welcome."

He turned and stomped down the dirt street.

"Naruto!"Sakura shouted behind him.He took a breath and turned, seeing her with a bag of groceries.She stood before the old woman's door, eyeing him."Carry this inside for me?"

"Carry it inside yourself."He growled and left.

Sasuke's eyes bore into his back.

"Hmph,"Sakura huffed and knocked on the door.

The scarecrow apeared behind his students."Good job, where's Naruto?"

"He left."Sasuke replied, glaring at the wall behind his sensei.

Kakashi blinked,"He went home?"

Shrugging, the dark haired ninja said,"He just left after dropping off the groceries, I don't know where he went."

"Well...we only have one more mission, and it's relatively simple..so I guess we'll leave him be.One of you has to stop by his house later today though and tell him not to come to training tomorrow until tomorrow night, ok?"

"Night?Why would we have ninjtsu at night Kakashi sensei?"Sakura blinked.

The scarecrow grinned, holding up a finger,"that's for you to find out tomorrow.Make sure you show up though.Now, let's go find that cat."

Sakura groaned,"That lady lost her cat again??"

Naruto shut the door behind himself and kicked off his sandals.He pulled off his jacket to reveal the black t-shirt beneath and walked down the hall to the living room of his apartment.

"Stupid old lady.."He growled, flopping onto his worn couch.

Sighing, he stared at the ceiling.-She was right though...it really pisses off the villagers that I 'seemingly'-He paused in his thoughts to scowl-Ignored all their hatred, became a ninja, and the Hokage still gives me missions and ect.Why can't they see that I have the Kyuubi under control?I'm not dangerous..Im a normal fourteen year old.That stupid old hag just..-Narugto slammed his fist on the arm of the couch.-They're always going to be this way..-

He stood and made his way to the bathroom in the back of the apartment.Inside he placed his hands on either side of the sink and leaned forward to stare nose-to-nose at his reflection."Everyone is always going to despise you....they're never going to respect you..why do you keep trying..I wish.."Tears slowly began to gather in either corners of his eyes." I wish they would realize..I have feelings..and it hurts.."Sighing, he swallowed back his tears and reached into his medicine cabinet, pulling out a new razor.

He smirked at it and pressed the edge to his fingertip.Blood welled and then trailed down his finger."Perfect."Naruto smiled.

End of chapter one

Ahh..nods slowly This is my first Naruto fic.-.-;Before I read the manga..I read about 200 fanfics on it on

And then about 50 stories about it on (NC17 stories)And so..I really didn't understand the characters then.But now I've go a couple shonen jump magazines, the three mangas(gonna get the fourth come August ;)So..Im trying to stay on track and describe and make the character act as they really would.-.-I love Naruto.And his background and personality gave me the idea for having a fic with self-mutilation and all that...Heh.Ahem.So yeah...eventually Im going to have him try to commit suicideindicates Sasuke and Im going to get him and Naruto together.Now that I have a laptop hopefully I'll be writing a lot of fanfiction on Naruto, Weiss Kruez, Yu Yu Hakusho and all those other animes Im obsessed with

Yeah..Im not one of those people that uses a whole chapter to go over reviews and ect.So if you do have any questions..instead of compliments or insults PLEASE email me.(I love getting emails I reread them over and over again because life is boring-.-)And to request a challenge or ect, email me too.Or IM me.(Aim Instant Messenger) My screenname is ThiefenRain (no spaces . )Or if you're an et member, my username is Larlel, message me there.smiles with shifty eyes Yeah...that's all;Or is it?staresNope...there's some information that took me two hours to type and edit....so..mayhaps take take five seconds out of your time to scan over it?I was walking through Glen's and scanning through the magazine section while my younger siblings play, screaming, dangerously close to a display of glass applesauce jars-.-;ANDDDDD....I happened to spot a yoga magazine.And me..being the geeky freak i am, thought of the little newspaper clipping my mom put on the fridge earlier that morning on yoga.and I picked up the magazine and saw ha tit had something about chakras on the front.

So when my mom showed up, looking for us I forced her to get it;And then I spent a lot of time typing it to put bits of it after each chapter....so yeah...

**Historical Root Of Chakra**

The chakra system is an integral part of Indian Philosophy originating at least 5,000 years ago.It works in conjuction with Ayurvedic theory and yogic texts and beliefs.In fact, the key component of Kundilini yoga is the focus of the "kundalini" or energy source located in our root chakra. As we practice yoga or experience chakra treatments, our focus turns inward on moving this kundalini up through the chakra system. This theory is similar to the Chinese theory of flowing energy called "chi".

The Sanskrit word "chakra" means wheel or disc, symbolizing the seven primary wheel-like energy centers in the body(who knows, that might of been where Masashi Kishimoto got the idea for the Sharigan eye Kakashi and Sasuke have).(some writings mention nearly 88,000 chakras, but the primary seven plus approximately 40 secondary chakras are considered the most significant).The seven major chakras are all energetically connected to the spine as well to the most important energy channel, the sushumna, which originates at the spine and extends to the top of the head. Kundalini rises through the sushamna. Each chakra resembles a lotus blossom with funnel-shaped leaves through which energy flows. The rotation of the chakra (which varies from chakra to chakra) determines if energy is released or gained, and each chakra has a specific rotation for men and for women.

Chakras always rotate differently for men and women, some clockwise others counterclockwise. For instance, a man's root chakra rotates clockwise demonstrating behaviors such as conquering or mastering (snortshifty eyes), whereareas a woman's root chakra rotates counterclockwise, expressing a woman's tendency to be more receptive allowing the power of earth to flow through her center.


	2. Annoyance

Chapter 2

Annoyance

_**Warning!!!!-This fic has yaoi male/male pairings.And (unfortunately) I can't post lemon chapters on here, so please quickly scan over summary things that are after the chapter to see if I put up any links.Also, self-mutilation, attempted suicide, swearing, and maybe a older man (Kakashi or Iruka) paired with a 14 year old;**_

Thoughts: -Blahblah-

Aloud:"blahblah"

Shouting:"_blahblah"_

Right..er...you get it.

Naruto awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door.Groggily he sat up with a grunt and reached up to itch his head, pausing when he saw the cuts along his arm and wrists.-Hmm..the Kyubi hasn't healed them yet...-He stopped staring at them and jumped when the knocking started again.

Sighing he sat up and stumbled to the door.He opened it a crack and stared at Sasuke."What do you want?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow,"what a nice way to great a teammate"

Naruto paused to peer over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen."I have something cooking so hurry it up, what are you here for?"He lied.

Leaning against the doorframe, Sasuke tried to look past Naruto into the house."Kakashi sent me to tell you we have practice tomorrow night."

Naruto blinked,"But how will we see?"

"Hn dobe..I don't know.Don't ask stupid questions."

Narrowing his eyes, Naruto slammed the door in the darker-haired Sasuke's face.

A knock sounded a minute later as Naruto stomped his way down the hallway.He yelled over his shoulder,"Go away!"

The door swung open and the Kyubi holder turned to stare at the surviving member of the Uchiha Clan."Why'd you slam the door in my face dead-last?And why did you leave training today?"

Naruto waved his arms, sputtering."_You can't just barge into someone's house!!!!_"

Sasuke shut the door behind himself and shrugged,"you don't just slam the door in someone's face either."He squinted at one of Naruto's waving arms."What's that?"

Naruto stopped instantly, paling."Nothing.Get out get out get out!"He attempted to usher Sasuke out, but instead the boy grabbed his arm.

"You're hurt...Did the lady cut you or something?...what is this from?"He stared at Naruto.

Naruto threw a punch at Sasuke's face with his free arm and took off down the hallway, skidding into his room and trying to shut the door behind himself.Sasuke rammed his shoulder against the door before it shut fully and strained to open it.

"_Im serious to hell Sasuke!Get the fuck out!"_

_"Open the door Naruto!"_

_"No!GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"_

Sasuke let the door shut, panting.He glared at the offending block of wood."Why won't you answer me?"

Naruto was silent, leaning against the door.

"Fine dobe."Sasuke spat turning and marching out of the house.

Naruto slid down the door to the floor, hugging himself."Fucking idiot..."He muttered, unsure if he meant himself or SasukeHe glanced down at at arm and scowled, banging the back of his head against the door in frustration.

Sasuke stood in the doorway, clenching and unclenching his fists.He threw a glare over his shoulder when he heard Naruto mutter,"Fucking idiot."

Without any further hesitation he stepped out and slammed the door behind.A passerby stared at his stormy expression then hurried on.Sasuke walked down the streets, thinking of the cuts on Naruto's arms.-That old lady wouldn't have cut him.Why would she?We didn't do any training with Kakashi today..he had to have gotten them from something else.Is he cutting himself?-Sasuke shook his head.-Naruto doesn't have any reason to do that either.He's not ALWAYS happy..but he's not suicidal either.Then what the fuck IS it?-He frowned.

"Sasuuukkee!"Ino squealed, giggling and slung her arm around his shoulder, leaning on him.

Sasuke tried to shake her off, but Sakura had already shoved her away."Ino pig!Get off of Sasuke!"

Ino stuck her tongue out at Sakura,"He'll never like you with that gigantic forehead!So why don't you go off and hit on Lee?"

Sakura blushed to the roots of her hair and chased Ino around.

Shaking his head, Sasuke made his way past the squabbling girls.He paused when he passed the ramen stand.Kakashi sat beside Iruka, his visible eye curved in what appeared to be a smile while Iruka talked, waving his chopsticks.

Kakashi opened his eye and saw Sasuke.Iruka also turned and spotted him.

"How is Naruto doing?"Iruka asked.

Sasuke lowered his head, staring at the dirt and scuffing it with his shoe,"How should I know?"He muttered, then stalked off past them.

Kakashi blinked, sharing a look with Iruka.

"I was going to invite Naruto to share some ramen with us."Iruka sighed,"he must be tired."

Kakashi stared down at the counter, expression serious."He was acting fine this morning.I think the woman he was helping said something to upset him."

Iruka frowned,"You think she was using the Kyuubi to insult him?"

Kakashi shrugged, tracing the designs in the wooden counter with his finger,"I'm not sure.Maybe I'll bring it up before we start our training tomorrow."

Iruka smiled at Kakashi and leaned forward to place a kiss on the corner of where his mouth was beneath the mask."You don't need to, I was thinking of heading over to see him anyways."

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask,"Getting bold Iruka?I look forward to tonight when you get home."

Iruka blushed and muttered,"Pervert."before getting up and starting off for Naruto's apartment.

Naruto glared at his arms.-Why aren't they healing??Baka Kyubi!-

-What was that?-

Naruto jumped and glanced around his room.-Kyubi?-

-What do you want?-

-Why aren't my arms healing?What are you doing to me?-

Naruto heard the fox-demon snicker.-Use your own chakra.If your going to destroy my host-body then why should I aid you?Kill yourself.Go ahead.I'm not going to heal you.-

-I can tap into the chakra without your help-Naruto growled.

-You can try...-The fox demon's presence faded from his mind.

Naruto punched the wall."Damn fox!This day just keeps getting worse and worse....what next?"

As if to answer his question, he heard someone knocking on his front door."Sasuke..."He hissed under his breath and slipped on his jacket urolling the sleeves bwithout zipping it.He made his way to the door and threw it open, glaring hatefully.

Iruka stared at him, surprise etched across his features.

"Iruka sensei!I-I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."Naruto smiled sheepishly and pulled the door open, motioning for his former master to enter.

Iruka entered and turned to face him when the boy shut the door."Kakashi told me what happened today..Are you ok?"

Naruto stared at him a moment then blinked and smiled, cursing at himself for his stupidity."Yes, of course I am!It's just the old lady was crabby and I was kind of tired.So I just dropped off her groceries and came back to my apartment."

Iruka returned his smile as Naruto led him into the living room.They both sat down and Iruka leaned back, smile faltering a little."She didn't say anything about the fox-demon did she?"

Naruto blinked at him."No.She just was being a normal old about everything."He grinned.

"Ah...well.Did Sasuke tell you about the training tomorrow?"Iruka questioned.

Naruto nodded,"He came by earlier..."

Glancing around, the Chunin chuckled,"You really need to clean this place up."

"Argh, I always forget to."

Iruka's expression became a stern expression."You're just putting it off.I'll help you clean it if you want to get it done now."

Naruto paled, remember that he had forgotten to clean the bloody bathroom."Uh, maybe you could come by tomorrow."

Iruka nodded, glancing once more around Naruto's small apartment,"But you should train.I didn't ask Kakashi what he was planning for you.But I would go prepared.I'll come by the day after."

Naruto nodded in agreement, following Iruka to the doorway."Bye sensei."

Iruka blinked before smiling and hugging Naruto.Naruto returned the smile a tenfold.Iruka oofed and tightened his hold.They both stepped back and Iruka watched Naruto step back into the house and shut the door, concerned.

Naruto grabbed a rag from the kitchen and put his hands on his hips, staring at the bathroom."Better clean you before anything ELSE happens.-.-;"He set to work.

End of Chapter 2

Yep.O.o;

At first I was going to make Sasuke go into the bathroom and find the blood..but I want it to be realistic and not overdramatic or they magically ya know, always manage to sense these things and check it out.Heck if that was me and I had walked in on my friend in that mood, I would have cowered, apologized profusely, and gotten the hell outta there.But Sasuke is more serious and 'What-the-hell-are-you-staring-at' type of person; Sooo..yeah..Maybe if I get really bored I'll make an alternate story type thing to 'if' Sasuke had found the razor and blood in the bathroom.If anyone wants to see that chapter its in the recycling bin so if you just want me to email you it for a quick read feel free to;Im pathetic, forcing you to email me-.-

Ahem..but you see the Iruka/Kakashi pairing in this?O.oArgh, I must make a lemon chapter for when Iruka came home...maybe..-.-Im making a big deal of this sucky story..all the side chapters and crap.Im sorry;-;!

My next story I think will either be Gaara/Naruto or one of those stories where Naruto leaves for a number of years and returns..god knowsMaybe Kakashi/Naruto?Sakura/Kakashi?Hmmm....I don't really like the idea of sakura/kakashi;It reminds me of Hermione/Snape...And god..that's my example of a disgusting fic pairing.I can't even stand the thought of Hermione and Snape being together..I love Snape, he's awesome and think they picked the wrong type of actor for him..I always imagined him as beautiful...O.o; Ahem...yeah that's all..(Oh and yeah...Im sorry the chapter titles suck and make absolutely no sense and have no connection with the chapters.Its just..I concentrated more on the story...then the chapter titles...so yeah,Sorryy..)yep...another bit of chakra info now;

Starting at the base of the spine and working upwards, the seven major chakras each correspond to a particular aspect of human awareness. Each chakra also has specific characteristics: a color, a symbol, a sound, and a few beneficial gemstones and oils.

**The First Chakra**

The first chakra, Muladhara, the root chakra, is located at the base of the spine, connecting and grounding us to the earth. The root chakra governs our basic instincts, provides grounding, and ssupports our self-confidence and self-worth.If blocked or weak, depression, poor self-esteem, addictions, and excessive "people pleasing" behaviors result.

This chakra is associated with the color red (Naruto's chakra color You get it?!?!!?Self-Esteem!!!His chakra is red..yeah...put it together . ;), the earth element, the four-petalled lotus the sound "LAM", both aate and hermatite gemstones, and lavendrs, sandalwood, and cedarwood oils.

**The Second Chakra**

The second chakra, Svadhisthana, the sacral chakra, is the center of our emotons and our sexual energy(AHEM).Located about three inches below the navel, it is associated with our ability to be flexible, develop relationships, to enjoy sensual and sexual desire and pleasure, and the ability to nurture. It also represents the yin/yang balance withint ourselves. If blocked or weak difficulties may arise such as rigity, self-neglect, lack of desire, anorgasmia(failure to have an orgasm), or blocked creativity.

This chakra is associated with the color orange, the water element, the six-petalled lotus, the sound "VAM", both carnelian and moonstone gemstones and ylang-ylang and sandalwood oils.

**The Third Chakra**

The third chakra, Manipura, the solar plexus chakra(your ass), represents our sun and is our power center(O.O....).Located at the base of our ribs(oh...whoops;)is associated with our power, prosperity, and will, and intuition. It also governs our intellectual self. If blocked or weak individuals may feel helpless, may be controlling, irrespmsible, and may misuse their power.

This chakra is associated with the color yellow, the fire element, the 10-petalled lotus, the sound "RAM", both tiger's eyes, amber, and citrine gemstones, and lavender, rosemary, and beramot oils.

**The Fourth Chakra**

The fourth chakra, Anahata, the heart chakra, bridges the earthly and divine, as the chakras below the heart chakra represent our physical state while those above are spiritual. Located in the center of the chest, the heart chakra is associated with love, compassion, acceptance, respect, and even grief.(We greive because the heart chakra has allowed us to love so unconditionally that our hearts can be broken).If blocked or weak one may have difficulties with relationsips, may be dependent on others for teir happiness, be pessimistic, or hold grudges.

This chakra is associated with the color green (although it can also appear as pink symbolizing love), the air element, the 12-petalled lotus, the sound "YAM", both rose quartz, emerald, jade, and tourmaline gemstones, and rose, lander, and jasmine oils.

**The Fifth Chakra **

The fifth chakra, Vishuddha, the throat chakra, communicates our creativity and unique voice to the world Located near the thyroid land, the throat chakra symbolizes ur ability to speak eloquently with integrity, creativity, wit, and most importantly truth. If blocked or weak one may be stubborn, lie, have poor sense of humor, have difficulties finding the right career, or may take themselves too seriously.

This chakra is associated with the color blue, the ether (space) element, the 16-petalled lotus, the sound "HAM", aquamarine, turquoise, and lapis lazulo gemstones, and lavender, patchouli, and hycanith oils.

**The Sixth Chakra**

The sixth chakra, Ajna, the brow chakra or third eye, is considered the chakra or command, visualizing what we really desire and channeling it for the higher good. Located in between the eyebrows, the brow chakra is associated with inspiration, devotion, intuition, wisdom, and healing. If blocked or weak, one may have stunted vision, may be unable to follow through their work ideas, and may blame others for their own problems.

This chakra is associated with the color indigo, the five senses, the 96-petalled lotus, the sound "KSHAM", sapphire, lapis lazuli, and amythest gemstones, and violet, ros, and geranium oils.

**The Seventh Chakra **

The seventh chakra, Sahasrara, the crown chakra, represents one being truly open to their spirituality and to their own devinity. Unlike other chakras,here are no dysfunctions at the crown chakra. We either develop and use it or we eep it closed and unable to connect with the Divine. Located above the head, the crown chakra gives us understanding, peace, ecstasy, and bliss.

This chakra is associaed with the color purple, the 1,000-petalled lotus, the sound "OM", amethyst, rock crystal, and labradorite gemstones, and amber oil.


	3. One Thing After Another

Naruto scratched his head as he wandered idly through Konoha's marketplace.

Sasuke said we have training tonight. He didn't say there was a specific time though.- The blonde grinned widely.-So I guess this means since I have nothing else to do I'll just do what Iruka sensei suggested..train.-

Naruto quickened his steps, only to be stopped by a large mass in his path. Slowly, deep blue eyes raised to stare at the gruff-looking man's face.

"Watch where youre going, demon boy." He growled deep in his throat.

The blonde took a couple quick steps backwards, recognizing the signs as the passing people's steps slowed and most stopped to watch to interaction.

"Shit.."He whispered to himself and glanced around for a familiar face. No one..

Who would I be looking for in the first place?..I have no friends.-

This thought strengthened his resolve and he planted his sandals in the dirt, glaring at the man before arrogantly crossing his arms over his chest.

"Baka, I didn't even run into you." He sniffed, tightening his fists to stop the shaking.

The man blinked stupidly before narrowing his eyes and raising his fist."You fucking little bastard. You're nothing, not human, not a ninja. You're a pathetic whining little demon who needs a lesson taught to him."

Images of Zabuza's eyes flaring with rage as Gato called him little demon. The image of a bleeding crying Gato flying over the side of the bridge, Zabuza standing proudly with various weapons jutting from his back and he turned and glare fiercely at the rest of the enemies before collapsing.

Naruto lowered his head a little to shadow his eyes and make his glare look more fierce. "Who are you to talk? No one would glance twice at your hideous face. Jeez, you've even got tufts of grey hair coming out of your ears."

"Y-you" The man's eyes swam with a mindless rage as his hand twitched up almost as if to check to make sure there was no hair coming from his ears. Naruto smirked, causing the giant to become even more enraged. He smirked and turned in a slow circle, holding his hands up."Let it be known that Kai Itsugashi, citizen of Konoha, was the one to finally destroy the Kyubi, once and for all!"

Many of the villagers grumbled, but none said anything loud enough for the man to hear, obviously anticipating the demon-holders demise.

The blonde twitched, letting his arms relax to hang at his sides. His eyes flared in challenge as he smirked ferally at the man. "Try it old man."

Kai leapt at the blonde, bringing his fist down as if to knock him senseless, make is easier to beat him without retalliation. Naruto sidestepped and ducked, turning to make a swift chopping motion in the middle of Kai's back.

The man's eyes bulged and he doubled over as if winded. He slowly straightened, wincing at the twinge in his back."You think that was enough to stop me. You pathetic excuse of a demon.."As if knowing Naruto was expecting another mindless physical attack, he quickly reached into a pouch tied in his dull brown belt and flicked his wrist, sending a kunai careening towards the suprised blonde.

A pale hand caught it in midair. Girls from the crowd squealed. Naruto blinked twice before allowing himself to breathe again. He glared fiercely at the Uchiha's back.

"Dobe, what did you get yourself into this time?"

"Shut up teme!I didn't ask for your help!Get lost!"Naruto yelled, though he was silently relieved at the intervention.

"Move aside, boy." Kai growled.

"Shutup."Sasuke commanded in a toneless voice, though his dark eyes were narrowed in an angry glare."Walk away before I slit your throat and castrate you."

Naruto winced at the mention of castration and grinned before Sasuke's back, making a shooing motion at Kai.

Kai made as if to step forward, then stopped in midstep at the pressure of a kunai against his throat.His eyes rolled downward to stare into midnight black eyes."Wh-what are you doing! He's the enemy!"

Naruto stare at Kai in horror.-Nono, dont say it, dont say it.Please.-

Sasuke stepped back in one swift motion and pocketed his kunai, eyeing the man in disgust before turning to Naruto, completely ignoring the man's pleading.

"Let's go dobe."He hissed.

"Wha?But I-"Sasuke's vice-liked grip on his arm shut him up as he was dragged along.

A few minutes later found the pair sitting on the blonde's doorstop.

"I was going to train.."Naruto grumbled as he folded his arms across his knees and rested his chin on his wrist.

"Naruto.."

The blonde's head snapped up as he stare at his rival."w-what?"-He called me by my name. Is Sasuke sick?..or is he going to ask me something that he really doesn't want to ask?..-

"About yesterday...what was-"

"SASUKE-KUUNNN!"Came a highpitched scream before a blonde blur latched onto Sasuke.

Naruto sweatdropped and sigh in relief before standing and opening his door to go inside.

"Get OFF."Sasuke growled in his ice-prince tone.

Ino pouted, staring up at him with wide watery eyes.

Naruto smiled sadly to himself before shutting the door. An angry knock errupted a moment later, but he ignored it as he sank into himself again.

What was I thinking? I can't go outside for five minutes without being pelted with rocks, knives, or insults. Or all three at once. Im doing my duty for my village just by having this demon inside me. Why should I put effort forth to become a ninja when Im doing my duty right now?..if I become Hokage Konoha will probably be deserted..- He snorted softly to himself at the image of an empty Konoha with a tumbleweed rolling down the empty road.

He found his eyes once more drawn to the dark bathroom. Naruto tried to tear his eyes away, but gave in with a sad smile. He padded quietly into the bathroom and shut the door behind himself. Once inside he went to the bathroom cabinet and took out the razor.

The rest of the house remained silent while soft inhalations of pain echoed through the hallway.

hr  
Im sooorryyy... It took me so long to update and its not a very eventful update. I will update again VERY soon if I get even ONE review.Oo;Im sorry sorry sorry. I'll never go this long without updating again.


	4. Beautiful Oblivion

Deep blue eyes slowly opened. Naruto blinked twice and groaned at the dull pain in his back. He sat up and glared over his shoulder at the sink he had been leaning against. A throbbing wound on his wrist glared in a angry crimson up at him from where it lay across his legs.

"Shit..how long was I asleep?" He asked himself as he forced himself to his feet. Stretching his cramped legs, the blonde made his way out of the bedroom, momentarily ignoring the job of cleaning the dried blood from around his fresh wounds. Naruto padded into the kitchen and blinked blearily at the clock.

"NINE!OH NO!"Naruto skidded back down the hallway and into the bathroom, staring at the orange jump suit he had removed to punish his body. -Everythings covered in blood. I don't have time!What am I going to wear-

He looked down at himself and raised an eyebrow, allowing a small smile to grace his pale lips.-Ah yes, I'll go in my boxers. Sakura-chan will surely fall for me then.-He chuckled sarcastically.

Puffing, Naruto then jogged down the hall to his bedroom and began a frantic search of his closet." I never buy any clothes!I don't need any more clothes!"He grumbled to himself amongst a flurry of boxers, sox, goggles, and random ramen cups. Finally, in the back of a closet, in all its dark shininess(dont ask-.-;)lay a black outfit that looked like it had fallen off of the hanger when he had been cleaning out his closet.

"Wow..I didn't know I had such a great taste of style." He blinked as he held up the shirt and the pants dangling from the hanger.

The black pants were covered in various buckles and were around two to three sizes too big. The shirt had crisscrossing straps across the chest with long sleeves that ended with a slit, meant for his middle finger. Naruto eyed them dubiously before cautiously removing it from the hanger.

"Well..Kakashi sensei did say it was 'night training'.."With that in mind he threw on the clothes, trying to ignore the way the shirt hugged his chest. What he couldn't ignore, was the fact that the pants wouldn't stay on his hips. "Belt belt belt.." He finally found one, an old brown belt that he quickly buckled around his pants. The blonde stopped in front of the mirror on his way out of his room.

Woah..-A slim boy with elfin features gazed back at him. Blonde hair that was mussed from sleep hung over his eyes from going a few months without a haircut. The tight black shirt hugged a slim yet muscular chest and stomach, and revealed some flesh just before a dark brown belt held up baggy pants around a slim waist.-I look like Im going to a funeral..for a rock star.-.-

"Well..since its probably going to freak them out anyways..might as well.."He glanced regretfully at the clock before rushing back into the bloodstained bathroom. He lined his eyes with black eyeliner ( Used when in his Sexy No Jutsu) and spread some around his lids. Naruto smirked at his reflection before zooming down the hall and out the door, not bothering to lock it behind him.

The sun had already set, and the streetlamps glowed a dull orangish yellow, barely lighting the darkened streets. Naruto eyed the shadows cautiously, years of habit reminding him how dangerous it was to be the Kyubi holder out on Konoha's streets at night, when the sleaze bags weren't afraid to torture and kill in the middle of the streets since there were none to witness.

The blonde plastered a smile on his face as he came to the bridge, squinting slightly as he tried to make out his teammates figures in the darkness.

"Sakura chaaannn.."He called softly, body tensing as he heard a rustle in the bushes beside the bridge."Sasuke?"

"Dobe.."Sasuke muttered coldy, walking past him, but the blonde blinked as he noticed Sasuke's eyes traveling up his form.

He obviously hasn't forgiven me for earlier...bastard.-"Why do you always have to get here when I do..?"Naruto grumbled, following Sasuke to lean against the railing.

"I don't. I was here since seven. I just felt like watching you piss yourself like the three year old you are."His teammate smirked.

"Grrr.."

"Is Sakura here yet?"

A spark of something deep inside the blonde made him blink in bewilderment before looking away from the piercing black gaze."I don't know, teme. You were here first."He shifted uncomfortably.-Im jealous..but only because Sakura-chan is mine- Blue met black.

"I...Sasuke.."

"Hn?"

"Do you..hate me?"

Sasuke sighed in exasperation."Dobe."

"HEY!I was being serious!"Naruto shouted angrily.

Sasuke looked away, suddenly intent on studying the wooden planks of the bridge."Why do you care?"

"I just wanna know!Tell me!"

"Why should I?"

"Bastard!"

"Baka."

"Teme!"

"Dobe."

"I-"

"No."

"What?"Naruto blinked.

"No, I don't hate you idiot. And I don't know why you're asking such a stupid question. Why can't you shut up for one minute?"Sasuke grumbled.

The blonde flushed at Sasuke's admission and searched for something to say in response. "..Teme.."

The brunette rolled his eyes and snickered, once again eyeing his figure.

A silence fell between them.

"Do you think Sakura hates me?"

"Stop asking me stupid questions. Besides...how should I know?"

The blonde fidgeted, trying to avoid the curious gaze."Be-because you..like Sakura-chan.."

"And when did I say that?" Sasuke growled.

"You don't like her?"-That's not hope in my voice that's not hope in my voice.-

"I like her as a friend. That's it. Both you and her are alike, so annoying and loud."

Naruto felt something drop in the pit of his stomach, but he ignored it and smiled."Yeah, maybe if I tell her that we're alike she'll finally go out with me!"

"I don't want to talk about such stupid things. Besides..haven't you ever heard that opposites attract?"Sasuke murmured.

"What?"Naruto blinked, squinting at Sasuke as he made out what seemed to be a rosy tint on the nin's pale cheeks.

"Just shut up dobe. What's taking them so long?"

"Meh..if they don't get here soon Im going to go home.."The blonde's voice slowly dropped in volume, body drooping as he remember the blood and the razor and the..

"Yo."A light pop sounded beside them, causing both teammates to jump.

"You're LATE!"Naruto cried, pointing an accusing finger.

Kakashi sweatdropped and eyed the blonde."Nice choice of clothes."

The blonde flushed, glaring at his sensei, "Are you going to teach us secret ninja techniques or not?"

"Well..I wouldn't say they're secret..but Im sure you'll like the training tonight all the same."Kakashi smiled secretively and strode off the bridge and down the path into the woods.

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and glared expectantly at the blonde. Naruto stuck his tongue out at the ice prince and skipped down the path after Kakashi.

"Dobe.."

"Kakashi sensei!"Naruto shouted, panting as he tried to keep up with Kakashi.

"Hm?"

"Why aren't we waiting for Sakura-chan?"

"She's sick."Kakashi replied curtly.

Naruto eyed his teacher suspiciously but shrugged it off, folding his arms behind his head and grimacing when the tight black shirt slid up his waist to reveal his stomach. He muttered and ignored it, glancing over his shoulder at Sasuke. The blonde quickly tugged the shirt back down over his stomach, covering the seal of the Kyubi sealed inside him.

Sasuke was watching the trees on the side of the path, seemingly lost in thought as he trailed behind. Naruto briefly considered throwing a rock at him just to see if he could hit him, then dismissed it as he saw a small smile tugging at the corner of the brunette nin's mouth.

"This will do." Kakashi commented, eye curving into a smile and he turned to them.

Naruto glanced around and sweatdropped,"Where are we?"

"Exactly. I have no clue."

"EH!"Naruto screamed, waving his arms around.

"We're on a path, dobe."Sasuke muttered.

"Wha..oh.." The blonde huffed and looked put out.

"Well..there's a path but I've never been down here before.And I'm pretty sure neither have you two. So this will be the perfect spot."The silver shadow of Kakashi shifted slightly, then disappeared.

"Kakashi sen-" A hand slipped over his mouth and another around his waist, trapping him against a body. The blonde shivered in startlement and fear, eyes rolling as he tried to see his attacker.Alls he saw was black shadows around his mouth.-What is it-

Then as suddenly as the shadow came, it was gone. Sasuke stood in its place, eyes darting as his mouth curled into a feral growl. He stood over Naruto as the blonde shook himself out of his musings.

"Idiot, what are you doing?Get up!"

"But..Kakashi sensei. Isn't it Kakashi sensei!"Naruto said.

Sasuke frowned,"Im not sure, we won't take any chances.Get up."

Naruto got to his feet and stumbled in startlement when the earth suddenly flared with red and then everything was outlined in rainbow.-Heat?..Kyubi-A rumble in the back of his mind made him smile slightly.

He relaxed and straightened,"Sasuke, can you see?"

Sasuke squinted at him and grimaced,"No, why?"

"Try activating your Sharigan and see if you can use heat sensory."Naruto suggested.

The dark haired nin closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at Naruto with wheels lazily turning in his eyes."I can see you." He said in slight amazement. Then to cover it up he scowled and leapt into the trees."Lets go.Split up."

Naruto opened his mouth to call after Sasuke but stopped as from the corner of his eye he spotted a flare of yellow along with the other bright colors, seeming to scream out at him. The Kyubi holder leapt back, kunai balanced in palm as he smirked ferally, fangs extending some.

The shadow seemed taken aback as it took in the red glow of his eyes as it followed its every move.

Tensing, the blonde used his chakra to grip the ground as he sped forward then twisted tightly to dropkick the dark form. The shadow twisted away into the trees in a whisplike motion.

"Damn."Naruto cursed, realizing it was heading in the direction Sasuke had just gone.

His fingernails extended, giving way to toughed more calloused nails that gripped the bark tightly as he leapt through the trees after the rapidly disappearing shadow.

"Get back here, coward!"

There was cursing ahead as the shadow suddenly dropped down from the trees onto the unsuspecting Sasuke. Sasuke and shadows rolled, the dark haired nins wrist being held by the shadows to prevent Sasuke from stabbing him with the kunai gripped in his fist.

Sasuke blinked as the kunai was turned in his grip to face his own neck, and the kunai dove for the exposed flesh. Naruto quickly leapt between Sasuke and the kunai, crouched over him on his palms and toes as he held the kunai between his teeth. A low rumble started from deep down in his chest and made it to his throat before Naruto ripped the kunai from the shadows grip, turning his head to the side and releasing it.

He turned back to attack the shadow, but blinked as he saw Kakashi straightening with a grin on his face.

"Well done."

"Kakashi sensei!How-..how did you do that!"

"Hehe..wouldn't you like to know."

Naruto twitched, eyes slowly dulling back to a deep blue as his fingernails slowly shortened along with his canines. He flushed as he looked down at Sasuke who was underneath him and staring at him with his pale lips forming a 'O' of surprise with a light flush on his cheeks. The blonde found himself disappointed as his vision slowly faded to normal, leaving it too dark to read his teammates expression anymore.

"Get..off of me."Sasuke commanded in a weak voice.

Naruto scrambled to his feet, feeling blindly for a tree or something to lean against. He stumbled and fell over, caught by Kakashi.

Sounding amused, his teacher snickered,"Well, looks like this lesson was quite eventful. Interesting..you can both see in the dark.I think its better that Sakura didn't come."

"Hey-"

"Shutup dobe." Sasuke stood, dusting himself off.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks and frowned before pulling down his dark sleeves and folding his arms over his chest to help keep out the cold."Well, Im going back then."

"Bye."Kakashi whispered, then was gone again.

Sasuke and Naruto stood in uncomfortable silence, before the blonde stepped forward and stumbled again. Sasuke gripped his arm and muttered,"Geez, idiot. You're blind as a bat."

The two made their way towards Naruto's house.

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Meh..see!The chapter is longer ;And more..better than the last one-.-; reviews pleaaaseee..;-;

Oh!I have a beta reader!I didn't give this chapter to be checked yet, I wanted to post it before I sent it to be checked, and then I might repost it if any errors are corrected. But from now on Im having my beta reader check them first..I just wanted you to know so you could tell me if you see the difference.

And to Kit, a reviewer, I dont have your profile . Otherwise I would read all your stories! Hun, I have no talent at all..I keep on getting more and more writer's blocks..and Im afraid all my chapters are too rushed or small or people wont like them..The reason I keep going is if people are into this story, and like it, I want them to read more. I want to give them more to read, even if I do think my story sucks, if other people like it, that's enough for me. I only asked for one review because I figured that everyone wouldnt want to read it anymore because I hadnt updated in so long. It made me soooo happy when I got close to 6 reviews for a SINGLE chapter though. (For some people that might not be a lot, but for me, its like heaven)  
So all those people who are reviewing..thankyouthankyouthankyou. If you hadn't reviewed for this story..I honestly would not have continued it. Thankyou..And please keep reviewing ;;;


	5. In The End It Doesn't Even Matter

They stopped outside the blonde's door.

"..G'night 'suke" Naruto yawned innocently, hurriedly striding towards the door.

A pale hand gripping his shoulder made him tense."Naruto..talk to me."

"About what?"

"Yesterday..what happened?"

Naruto's world was tinted red with panic as he thought of something, anything to say.

"I-I..Wh-"

Sasuke turned him to face him, expression slightly strained." I know..we're not the best of friends Naruto. We're rivals."He took a breath, trying to ignore the flash of hurt in the blonde's eyes,"but you can tell me things. And believe it or not, but I care about you..if only as a rival."he murmured quickly.

As if in a daze, the other ninja stared intom Sasuke's eyes for any sign of untruth or pity. When he found none, he swallowed.-It'd change..our relationship would change if he ever knew.-"I..got them from the cat."

-Dobe got those deep of cuts from a cat?..why won't he tell me..he couldn't be..could he?-

"You don't have a cat."He growled.

"And how do you know!"Naruto shouted, sniffing as he crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to lighten the mood.

His teammate wasn't having it, and narrowed his eyes, starless depths flickering with concern and rage,"Why won't you tell me! Do you hate me this much!"

"Sasuke, that's not-"The blonde whimpered as he was slammed into his still shut door."Sasuke, please-"

"Shut.Up."An icy tone commanded, silencing Naruto's fearful pleading.

"You really do hate me that much, don't you! This whole time I-.."Sasuke's hold on Naruto's black shirt slowly loosened as a small smile graced his lips. "Of course. You think you're too good for me. You're going to be Hokage, the strongest shinobi, save the whole fucking world!"The words were spat into a wincing Kyubi holder's face."You.Are.Nothing. Everybody hates you! You chase after a girl that would rather be TORTURED before she dated you! You-you're too weak to beat me! I don't even know WHY I associate myself with scum like you!"

A sharp smack echoed in the silent street, save the ragged panting of the Uchiha."Don't ever, ever act like your life is worse than mine. I've suffered through more than you could ever dream of! I don't know why I felt pity for you. I hope you DIE." Sasuke spat the last word with a satisfied smirk before turning on his heel and stalking away.

In a complete state of shock, Naruto slid to the ground and with a hand to his stinging cheek. He frowned when he felt something wet slide down his cheek and realized it was the rain. -Perfect..- He smile to himself as he watched the dirt become spattered with rain, then slowly form into mud as he pressed his clenched fist into it. -There's nothing else- nothing more..Im alone. Completely alone. Even Sasuke..the last person I'd ever think would be worried about me..hates me. It feels so wonderful..this pain..- The kitsune drug his sharpened nails into his shirt sleeve, smiling at the sound of fabric and flesh tearing.

Dull blue eyes drunk in the sight of dilluded blood mixing with the rain to splat and create small water/blood droplets on his arm.

I don't know why I even hung on this long. It was all for nothing. It was all because I was too stubborn and selfish.-

"And now I'll finally end it."

'Kit, stop this-'

"SHUTUP!"He screamed, eyes clenching shut as he bit into his tongue, calming at the taste of metallic blood.-Shutup..no more. I don't want to hear anything else from you. Im killing you, killing me. We'll both die and free Konoha and Sasuke of the Kyubi and the pathetic..defective shinobi..- Naruto laughed breathlessly and leaned back, banging his head against the solid wood of the door. Blue eyes dulled further as lids twitched slightly at the sensation of rain hitting his eyes.

The blonde's vision blurred, whether from the rain or tears he wasn't sure. But it was finally going to end.

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Reaaalllyyy short chapter..but that's only because I wanted to leave you with a cliff hanger so I'll get reviews ; Perhaps some ideas or suggestions on what should happen in the chapter he attempts, or suceeds in committing suicide.


	6. Harmonia

It was hours before the blonde finally got up the resolve to move again, enjoying the rain and sun that slowly rose. He frowned as the rain left with the darkness and left only chill and dew.

Naruto looked down at his arm that the Kyubi had finally healed. -idiot fox.-

He shakily stood up, blinking the dizziness away as he winced at the squelching sound that came from his wet pants being freed from the mud. Ignoring the shaking of his palm skin and the hotness that was clouding his mind from the fever he had developed during the cold, wet night, he pushed open his door and closed his eyes against the sight before him.

Stupid stupid STUPID.- Falling to his knees his fisted his hands in his hair and drew in ragged breaths through his teeth.

The door that Naruto had left unlocked last night had allowed vengeful villagers to enter his house while the blonde was away. Every single possession the blonde owned had been either broken, smashed, shattered, or was missing. Everything.

Finding the strength to rise to his feet, the now empty figure stumbled into his room and stare at the shattered picture of Team Seven laying on the ground. Naruto's head had been torn from the picture and Sasuke and Sakura were staring out at him with Kakashi.

The blonde's fists clenched and he swallowed loudly, biting through his bottom lip and laughing breathlessly at the blood that flowed down his chin along with the tears streaming down his pale cheeks.

"Its ok. It doesn't matter. It would all have been burned anyways..when I died..so I shouldn't care." But somehow he did, the one sanctuary that he had deemed himself safe in from the prejudice and hate from the villagers, had been destroyed..tainted. This wasn't Naruto's home anymore, no matter what happened.

"kunai..kunai" Naruto repeatedly murmured, propelling his suddenly heavy limbs towards his destroyed dresser where a kunai lay in a pile of his shredded and torn clothes. He smiled fondly at the sharp insturnment, rubbing the mud on his fingertips around the hilt of the blade, allowing his fever and grief hazed mind to drift away for a second. A violent involuntary shiver jerked him from his dark memories to the present. Dull blue focused on the dull point of the kunai.

The Kyubi holder allowed himself to fall bonelessly backwards into the wall and slowly slide downwards, letting his legs stretch out in front of him to smear the floor with mud and soon blood.

"Bye Iruka..I love you so much..and Kakashi..and Sakura..Shikamaru..Chouji..Neji..Hinata..even Gaara and that mutt Kiba."Naruto giggled quietly, vision blurred with tears. "And..even you Sasuke. Im sorry you hate me so much..I really..loved you.."The blonde's face dropped into an emotionless mask as he eyed the kunai.

"See you all in the next life."

The dull edge of the kunai dug into his skin as it was dragged down from his elbow to his wrist. A thin line of blood appeared, but it wasn't enough, there wasn't enough blood. "Fucking kunai."Naruto screamed, clenching his eyes shut as a weak sob escaped him." Can't I even get this right!" He dug the blade over and over again down his arm before giving up and starting on the other arm. After a couple seconds the wounds swelled with crimson and slowly trailed down in rivelets to splat wetly on the floor, mixing with the mud.

Blue eyes dullened further as the blonde began to hyperventilate.-Im dying. Finally, Im going to die.-

"Naruto!"Knock knock."NARUTO!Open the door. Im here to help you clean up! I don't have all day!Naruto!"

"Iru...ka sensei.."Came the broken whisper from bloodstained lips. (He bit his lip remember?)

Sigh,"Fine, Im coming in. I'm going to pour a bucket of water on you!"The door was thrown open and the blonde heard it hit the wall.

"Oh my..."He heard Iruka's foosteps stop abruptly as the chunin took in the destruction of his adopted son's house."Naruto?..are you here?"

Naruto sobbed, trying to will his weak body to move.-I don't want him to see me like this. Not like this..-

Panicked foosteps came down the hallway and paused in the doorframe. Iruka paled and stared a minute at Naruto, who weakly raised his head to meet his adopted father's gaze.

"Naru..to...wh-..what have you done!"Iruka screamed hoarsly before falling to his knees and gathering Naruto into his arms, sobbing in panick and he stood and raced out the still open door.

Naruto tried to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head as his head lolled back and forth in time with Iruka's frenzied leaps from rooftop to rooftop.

"Dont close your eyes..please..please dont close your eyes."Iruka groaned weakly, sobbing in frustration as he tripped on a shingle, stumbling then leaping to the next rooftop before to the ground in front of the Hokage's tower.

"Yo."Kakashi greeted Iruka, then stared as he took in the chunin's panicked form with a limp blonde in his arms."Give him to me." He commanded in a emotionless voice before taking Naruto from the other's outstretched trembling arms.

"Hurry!"Iruka screamed before falling to his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath with the painful sobs causing his form to tremble violently.

"What have you done Naruto?"Kakashi whispered in a strained tone before flitting to Tsunade's door. The large wooden door flew open with the force of the shinobi's chakra.

"Tsunade, he needs you to heal him. Now."

Tsunade lifted her head, blinking tiredly before taking in the sign of her adopted son's appearence. Her expression was grave and grieving as she strode to his side and wrapped her hands around the blonde's wrists.

"Naruto. Naruto! Don't shut your eyes. I know its hard to stay awake, but you can't sleep."

Blue eyes rolled weakly upwards at Kakashi, then to Tsunade. He obviously was too weak to even comprehend what they were saying.

Kakashi immediately began channeling his chakra into the weakened boy's form, helping to Kyubi to replenish his depleted chakra.

Soon the gaping crimson wounds on Naruto's wrists closed and sealed over in ragged pink scars. Tsunade took a deep breath and stepped back, snapping her head up to meet Kakashi's gaze.

"What happened?"

The jounin tightened his hold on the blonde,"I'm not sure. Iruka brought him here."

"Where is Iruka?"

"He should be on his way here-"

"NARUTO!" Iruka ran past the still stunned shinobi guards into the room, colliding with Kakashi and twisting to touch the blonde's cheek."He's burning up. You healed him didn't you!"

Tsunade closed her eyes," I healed his wrists, he has a very bad fever. I also eased that up a bit, but I couldn't completely make it go away, my chakras pretty depleted."Her eyes snapped open again.

"What happened Iruka?"

Naruto's eyes fluttered shut and there was silence a minute as Iruka stare down at him, relaxing when he saw the blonde take a breath. Though he didn't remove his hand from where it cupped his adopted son's cheek.

"He...the villagers completely destroyed his home..thats the only reason I could come up with..that Naruto would do this.."The teacher's voice became choked.

"Yes, just last night he was fine..He came to training." Kakashi eyed the thin form resting in his arms.

Tsunade stared down at the boy also for a moment."Don't take him to the hospital, they won't help him there. And I think its pretty obvious he can't go home. Iruka-"

"Yes, I'll take him." Iruka replied hurriedly.

"Kakashi, could you stay with Iruka just for a couple days, make sure none of the villagers attempt to finish what they drove the blonde to try in the first place?"Tsunade's frown deepened at the thought of the villagers. She would get to the bottom of this.

"Of course." Kakashi replied, obviously relieved that Iruka and Naruto wouldn't be left alone.

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Ok..that's it for now. I figured I couldn't kill Naruto, cause everyone was threatening to kill me if I did.-sweatdrop with shifty eyes-. And one of my reviewers suggested that someone other than Sasuke find him because otherwise it would be just like every other Naruto suicide fic. And so I had Iruka find him because..if Kakashi or Sakura had found him, it just..I can't do something like that. Sakura is a total bitch to him in the first place and if I ever met her..I would kick her ass-.- and Kakashi..well..I dunno. Just seem a bit awkward. I wanted someone who really truly loved Naruto very much. And that would be Iruka chan

So Iruka it is..though I had to put Kakashi in here too because..Kakashi and Iruka..Im not sure if Im going to make them ALREADY together, or get together after Naruto recovers.Suggestions?

Im sorry the chapters haven't gotten any longer-sheepish grin-

Hope you enjoyed, gunna update soon! Reviews pllleaaaaseeee;-;

Jeez, I sure have been making this fic way too fast.. the scenes just change and it seems like everything happens within three minutes every chapterOo;meehh..sorry


	7. Closer

Kakashi smiled in bemusement as Iruka ran ahead to open the door and wait a full minute before the jounin walked through. The chocolate-eyed chunin walked quickly to keep up with him.

"Do you think he'll be ok, Kakashi?"Iruka whispered.

Kakashi shrugged, smile fading a little as he carefully kept his eyes ahead, not wanting to look down at the unconscious form of his student that had just attempted suicide. He would once again start an inner conflict with himself, wondering why Naruto had done this, could have he done anything to prevent it, how could he have missed the signs, how could he have-

"T-thankyou..Kakashi sensei.."

"For what?" Kakashi asked, kicking a stone out of the path as they continued on through Konoha's streets in silence for a few minutes.

"If you hadn't been there..I..might not have gotten him there in time..I was so nervous..you were so calm."

The silver-haired jonin chuckled, wincing inwardly when he saw Iruka's face get red.

"Its not funny! Naruto could have died! It would have been my fault!"

Kakashi sighed and shifted the blonde's weight slightly to get more comfortable, turning down a street and trying to ignore the both friendly and unfriendly gazes of the villagers."I wasn't suggesting that it was funny, Iruka chan. I was just laughing because..who wouldn't be scared when someone as seemingly bright and happy, not to mention loud and troublesome as Naruto tried to kill himself.."

The other man deflated, looking faintly ashamed," Oh..well I..I just wish I knew WHY.."

"So do I. So will everyone who finds out. And Im pretty sure Naruto won't be too happy. That's why, even if you needed a little help before, you can more than make up for it and be there for Naruto when he wakes up. Don't beat yourself up over this, it won't help you or Naruto."

He stopped before a shabby looking door, sweatdropping and turning to Iruka to ask him for the keys. He stopped dead and smiled sadly when he saw tears swimming in iruka's expressive brown eyes.

"Kakashi..I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kakashi flushed faintly then cleared his throat, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck and completely forgetting about the boy in his arms. Naruto's head starting to slip off before Iruka squeaked and Kakashi quickly caught him.

Seeing his friend swell with an impending outburst, the jonin quickly kicked open the door and brought Naruto inside."Help me get him setup."

"..You're lucky, Kakashi." Iruka muttered before looking around his friends home. He sweatdropped and twitched."How can you even stand living here? Its a mess! There's mold on your CLOTHES for godsakes!"

"...Oh..I was wondering what that was."Kakashi smiled before walking into the bedroom, stepping over various dirty dishes, empty pocky containers, some volumes of random porn, and mold infested clothes. Surprisingly, when iruka followed him into the bedroom, he found it near spotless.

"Why.."

"I sleep in here. I barely spend time in any other part of the house." Kakashi chuckled, laying Naruto on the covers and turning to Iruka.

Iruka blushed when he found Kakashi staring at him."What!"

"well, since Im assuming you also spotted the porn novels on the floor, you'll be the one wanting to change Naruto."

Iruka smirked,"You assumed correctly, Kakashi sensei."

"Well..I don't believe I have any clothes that will fit him, but since his clothes are so filthy..it'll just have to do." The jounin muttered while rummaging through his closet and pulling out black pants and a long sleeved black shirt.

He threw them at Iruka and pushed his hands into his pocket, strolling from the room to lean against the hallway wall outside.

"Psh..geez." Iruka smiled to himself and gently propped his adopted son up before sliding off the mud-caked blood-stained shirt. He winced at the amount of blood and mud mixed in that flaked off and fell to the clean wood floors of Kakashi's room. He then peeled off the black pants and sighed in relief when he noticed the boxer's underneath weren't NEARLY as dirty and Naruto wouldn't need them removed. Iruka was almost certain Kakashi was watching somehow and would tease him about it later.And he didn't want Naruto thinking he was a pervert like a certain jonin he knew..

The teacher took Kakashi's clothes and pulled them onto the blonde, sweatdropping at the way the sleeves were hanging by about a foot off of the blonde's hands to splay on the bed, and the pants had to be rolled up about ten times before you could see Naruto's small tan feet. Iruka smiled softly at how cute the sleeping Naruto looked.

He felt his eyes fill with tears again when he thought of how Naruto had nearly died. If Naruto had succeeded in his suicide attempt.. Iruka shook his head and cleared his throat. Jumping, he spun to glare at Kakashi.

"Wow, he really is a chibi." Kakashi laughed, eyeing the way his clothes fit Naruto.

Iruka smiled soflty.

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Well, this chapter isn't really that long. And kinda just focused on Kakashi and Iruka. But that's the way it has to go, i suppose. I guess I already have kinda made them act like a couple, but they aren't yet. I was thinking about having Gaara appear..but..-shrugs-. I don't really think I want this story to go in the direction of narugaa. I want it to sasunaru, no matter how much Sasuke doesn't deserve him...-twitch-. I do want to do a Kiba/Naruto fic extremely soon though. Hopefully as soon as I finish this story, because Im thinking about wrapping it up with this story after about three or four more chapters. -shrugs- it all depends what you guys want.

So in your reviews, could you please give me your opinion on the idea of a kiba/naruto fic? Thankyou!-glomp-


	8. Shallow Sleep

Naruto blinked, wincing at the sudden onslaught of light invading his senses. He groaned and turned over, reaching up to pull the fluffy pillow over his head, only to pause as he felt something hinder the movement of his wrist.

The blonde stare at the arm that was lightly bandaged from wrist to elbow. Blue eyes slowly widened till the pupils were only tiny pinpoints in a sea of blue and white. A salty trail of sweat made a trail down the blondes forehead and cheek, disappearing in his shirt line.

"Why..why am I still alive?" Naruto clutched his wrist to his chest, swiftly glancing around the room to look for anyone who might be watching him. The room was empty, and unfamiliar.

Where the fuck am I? How did I get here?-. It clearly wasn't Iruka's room, Naruto had been in there before.(No pun intended lol) And it wasn't his room. Could it be Sasuke's?...no..considering the giant mansion he lived in, a room fo this size would be too small.

He didn't even ATTEMPT to conjure up the image of this being Sakura's room. It must be Kakashi's..

The nin groaned and buried his head in the knees he had drawn to his chest, shaking with sadness, fear, and anger.

They didn't care before...why did they save me? Why are they so selfish...I just wanted it to end.-

Naruto slumped even further, allowing his body to sink into the bed while curling into the fetal position, willing himself to die.

It startled him when he heard a tapping on the window. Scrambling backwards on the bed he stare fearfully at the window, nearly sobbing in relief when he recognized the streaks of water trailing down the glass. It was raining.

Raining like when he had finally lost the will the live.. Raining like it had just after Sasuke had ripped his heart out and handed it to him.

Naruto glanced over his shoulder at the door before crawling over to the window. The blonde blinked and looked down at himself. He was wearing jounin clothes. They must be Kakashi's as well. Naruto smiled sadly and pushed open the window, slipping through and biting back a scream as he plummeted past the many apartments below his senseis. Like a cat, he finally righted himself just before he hit the ground and winced at the bone crushing impact, rolling to ease some of the pain.

"Kuso..." Naruto cursed, struggling to his feet and swaying slightly. "I must still be weak from bloodloss..." He briefly considered trying to finish what he had started, but paused when he saw a familiar dark haired figure strolling, head down, along the fence that bordered the many apartment buildings.

"Sasuke.." He whispered, lost as the dark haired beauty slowly raised his head. Naruto regained his senses and clenched his teeth as his eyes began to swim with rain and tears, backing away before turning his back on his teammate, hurrying down the street.

"Naruto! Wait up!" Naruto ignored the deep voice that was swiftly closing in from behind, instead lowering his head so his expression was shadowed by his bangs.

"Naruto..I went to your apartment. Dobe, where have you been?"

"What does it matter?..."Naruto whispered brokenly, not raising his head.

Sasuke sighed, looking away and frowning,"stop feeling sorry for yourself.."

A small whimper escaped the blonde, but he covered it up with a sniff.

"You're going to catch a cold." Sasuke stated bluntly, still not looking at him.

Naruto's frown deepened, recognizing this as Sasuke's way of apologizing."Go away."

"Nani?"

"Go.Away."He hissed savagely, eyes flashing as he snapped his head to the side to glare at Sasuke.

Sasuke's frown deepened and he stopped, scowling when Naruto didn't stop to face him." Oi, Dobe. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The Kyubi holder did not reply, only increased his pace, leaving behind the hurt and angry Sasuke. Naruto walked the streets, ignoring the hateful gazes of the villagers beneath their stands lining the streets. Instead he headed towards his own apartment, staring down at the pants that had come unrolled and now covered his feet, soaking up muddy water and dirt as he walked along. Angrily, he pulled the sleeves down as well, letting them dangle limply at his sides and also serving to cover his bandaged arm.

"Bastards. I hate them all. Why can't they just leave me alone. Fuck."

He climbed the stairs and stepped past the broken battered door without raising his head. Naruto ignored the chaos and destruction that was his home and instead wandered to his room, pausing momentarily in front of the large circle of black. -Dried blood.- He smirked to himself and hopped over it, pulling his tattered ripped blanket into the corner, he curled up and pulled it over his head to block out the cold that was drifting into the house through the open doorway and broken windows.

Naruto didn't know how long he lay there, struggling with himself and the Kyubi to decide whether or not he shoulder make another attempt to end his pathetic existance. He was constantly shivering from the cold and the wetness that had seeped up the pantlegs to make the cold bite more sharply at his skin. He finally came to the conclusion that another attempt would be pointless. Before he ever attempted suicide again, he would have to have a error proof plan.

The blonde's mind was too numb to come up with any answers to his dilema, and the constant tapping and splat of rainwater on his sill caused his lids to drift closed.

Footsteps in the hallway caused Naruto to jerk upright and throw the blanket off his messy blonde head. Fear caused his heart to accelerate, his limbs tiredly lifting him to allow him to slide towards the window to escape. -The fucking villagers come to finish what they started. Wonderful.-

There were hurried whispers in the hallway, he only caught half of them as he backed towards his freedom.

"-stay here. Let me go in first."

"But-"

"stay."

A hand gripped the doorframe to the blonde's room, creaking and finally breaking under the tense grip of the pale gloved hand. A familiar silver head came into view as the shinobi stepped into the room.

"Naruto?"Kakashi whispered, eye scanning the room and finally resting on the hesitant blonde.

"Ka-Kakashi sensei?.." Naruto murmured, sagging slightly in relief.

In a flash the blonde found himself lifted off the ground and pressed into a warm chest, wrapped in strong arms as Kakashi pulled him from the window.

"What were you doing?" His sensei questioned sharply.

"I t-thought you were one of the villagers.."Naruto whispered hoarsely, corners of eyes pricking with tears.

"Naruto!"Iruka yelled, charging into the room and hugging both him and Kakashi, sandwiching the blonde between them.

Kakashi sighed with relief and ruffled his student's hair, winking comfortingly at Iruka. Iruka smiled back, completely forgetting to flush in his joy.

"What were you doing here? Me and Kakashi went into the room and you were gone and the window was open..We were so worried...we thought..we thought.." The brown haired chuunin choked, covering his mouth as he sat back, staring at Naruto. Wide expressive eyes filled with tears as he stared at Naruto, as if betrayed."Why?...Why Naruto..Why would you.."

"Iruka.." Kakashi murmured, squeezing his friend's shoulder.

Iruka shook his head and clenched his eyes shut, crushing the blonde in another hug."You aren't living alone anymore. You're moving in with me. Im never going to let you feel lonely again. God, I thought I had lost you.."

Naruto inhaled and choked on a sob, melting in his adopted father's arms and sobbing brokenly. Kakashi sat back and smiled at the picture his two favorite person's made.

Yes, Naruto would never be alone again. Now he had to figure out a way to convince Iruka to let him move in too.

Naruto bite his lower lip as it trembled, clutching his bandaged wrist to his chest."Im sorry Iruka..Im sorry..Im so sorry.."

"Sh..its ok. Its going to be ok.."

The blonde hiccuped, shaking his head,"It won't. It'll never be the same. I ruined it-"

"Naruto." Iruka said in a halting tone. "None of this..was your fault. I didn't realize how alone you were..its alright..don't ever apologise for this..we're here now...me and Kakashi."

Kakashi's visible eye curved in affirmation and he tilted his head fondly at Iruka.

Iruka offered a watery smile in reply and twined his fingers with the other ninjas.

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There ya go..you're update. Yesyes, its pathetic..Im making Iruka the mother and Kakashi the supporting father and Naruto their beloved child. -scratches back of head sheepishly, grinning- I admit it, Im a sucker for conventional familiness in fanfiction...if only our world were so perfect.

Reviews please Oh, and for my Help Me Breathe story, I drew a completely original picture of what Naruto, Gaara, Sasuke, And Kakashi all look like in the story.

I say Kakashi because Im debating on a Gaara/Naruto/Kakashi pairing to somehow form in that story...tell me what you think. Sorry, there's no way in hell Im putting Sasuke back with Naruto in help me breathe -sweatdrop-


	9. Pure

Naruto awoke once again, only this time he was wrapped in warmth and the slow movement of breathing. His eyes flickered to the left, then right, where Kakashi and Iruka were entangled with one another and had accidentally trapped the smaller between them.

Ugh...they sandwiched me..why does that sound so incredibly wrong?..-He grimaced and manuevered himself so he slid cleanly from underneath the silver-haired man's arms along with his adopted father's and pushed off the bed to balance on his knees before yelping and falling to land flat on his face.

He lay absolutely still for a few moments before letting out the breath he had been holding. The room remained shrouded in silence until he pushed himself to his feet and padded out the door to shut it softly behind himself.

Naruto smiled and shook his head wryly as a snort/snore echoed from behind the closed door and bedsheets rustled as the two ninjas shifted closer to eachother to find warmth.

I wonder how long it'll take before they realize their feelings for one another. Poor Iruka sensei... he'll have no free time. He'll be constantly molested by that pervert Kakashi.-The blonde smiled fondly and sat on the cold wooden stool that sat in the kitchen, laying his head on his palm and staring listlessly at the dripping sink.

The water began to tint red, and somehow managed to create a large spatter that resulted in staining the white counter a dilluded red. With each fallen drop of water, the stains on the counter grew and grew and seemed to stretch hungrily for Naruto. He winced and gasped as his wrist began to throb and ache beneath his bandages.

"Go away.."He rasped,"Kyubi...Kyubi..STOP IT!"

The dripping abruptly stopped, and the illusion of blood instantly disappeared, leaving a untouched kitchen in it's wake.

Naruto panted and pressed his forehead into the cool counter, clenching his lids shut and his fists till his nails dug through the skin.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway, signaling someone's approach. Naruto sighed, took a deep breath, relaxed his fingers, and raised his head.

"Morning Iruka!...Kakashi."He mock pouted at the jounin. There was a momentary tense silence, whereareas none of them knew how to act in the situation. Kakashi broke it by waving the comment away carelessly.

"Mwah, ignorant child, so disrespectful."

Iruka's tense expression melted and he stared at Kakashi's back in gratification before flashing a warm smile at Naruto."Im sorry, me and Kakashi must have crushed you last night."

Naruto sweatdropped,"nono..it was fine."

Iruka flushed and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, redirecting his gaze to the floor shyly before scowling,"I don't see WHY you had to stay here anyways..."

Kakashi leaned in close to the chunin, invading the brunette's personal space,"Am I not welcome?"

"N-no, I mean..yes..I.."

The silverhaired man leaned closer, forcing his friend to lean backwards."So..you want me to ..leave?"

Chocolate brown eyes roved embaressedly right to left in anxiety,"I didn't say that, Im just...Im just.."

"Just what?"

Naruto snickered and plucked a toothpick from the wooden container on the counter, chewing on it carelessly as he watched the scene unfold.

"W-well..You should have brought proper sleep wear if you were planning on staying over..just remember that in the future Kakashi san."

"Hai."Kakashi replied with a triumphant grin, spinning around before the other man could blind.

Iruka twitched in annoyance as Kakashi immediately began ramsacking the cupboards for anything edible. He opened his mouth to direct the jounin, but the blonde in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Naruto merely raised an eyebrow and smirked, chewing idly on the toothpick whilst he rested his head on his palm. Iruka's eyes were drawn to the stark white wrapping that encased the tanned wrist. Naruto slowly followed his gaze and blue eyes filled with shame and sadness. He quickly hid his arm underneath the counter and diverted his gaze, biting his lower lip.

Iruka's eyes dimmed slightly, and he leaned on the counter, gently removing the toothpick from the blonde's mouth. Azure blue met warm chocolate, and Iruka smiled warmly, cupping Naruto's cheek.

"Don't hide it, Naruto. Its not a good thing..but as long as you don't do that ever again..learn from your mistakes and open your heart." The brownhaired man gently took the bandaged arm and ran his thumbpad over the rough wrappings, smiling softly."No matter how bad the mistake...I'll always be here to help you through it, and help you understand how to correct it in the future. I am your former sensei after all, right Narutochan?"

Naruto's canines released his lower lip to stretch into a grin."Hai Iruka.I already knew that though, its pretty stupid to point out the obvious, ne?"

A tick mark throbbed on the side of Iruka's head, but he nodded anyways,"forgive me...for being so foolish."

Naruto stuck out his tongue in reply and leaned back in his stool.

Kakashi quickly turned back to the cupboards when Iruka turned to face him. The chunin placed his hands on his hips and tapped his foot, eyeing Kakashi.

"Nani?"The scarecrow grumbled, pulling a box of cornflakes from the cupboard and shutting it with a loud bang that caused Iruka to wince.

"Kakashi, you slept in those clothes. You're filthy. Shower and I'll lend you a change of clothes."

Smirking, Kakashi opened the fridge and extracted the milk,"No need."

Iruka blinked rapidly,"What do you mean?"He flushed deep red,"You cant walk around naked!"He sputtered with indignation and waved around his hands,"I won't allow it! N-Naruto would be scarred for life!"

"Oh, but you would enjoy it wouldn't you? My my, I didn't realize that just after one night, my presence would have such an impact on you. You're already imagining me naked, maybe you want to read over Icha Icha Paradise while Im taking my shower, ne?"

Iruka looked ready to die of embaressment, fiddling with his fingers and stuttering incoherantly. Kakashi and Naruto threw back their heads and laughed.

The blonde smiled quietly to himself and glanced once more at Kakashi and Iruka who were currently play fighting.-Everything seems back to normal. Maybe it will be ok..-

"Oi, Naruto, call off your guard dog." Kakashi muttered emotionlessly, effortlessly holding off the brown-haired chunin.

"Hehe, not a chance."

"You show no respect for your sensei, I'll never pass you." Kakashi sniffed.

Naruto winced,-That's right...we still have training..no one else knows about it but..Sasuke..-He immediately pushed the image of the Uchiha to the far depths of his mind and stretched."Hungry.."He yawned lazily.

Iruka stopped midswing and smiled brightly,"Ramen?"

"Mmhmmm.."

His adopted father paused midway to the stove,"Excuse me?"

"Yes please."Naruto deadpanned.

Kakashi snickered and took a seat beside Naruto, propping his masked head in his bare palm.

Naruto faked a yawn and looked down at his hands, allowing his thoughts to wonder without looking suspicious.His blue eyes drifted to his bandaged forearm again.-I need to take my mind off of this..I think I'll go cloud watching today when Iruka goes off to teach..-

He winced mentally at the thought of confronting Shikamaru who seemed to look right through him,-Sasuke wouldn't have told them anything, would've he? No, he doesn't talk to anyone..the antisocial bastard..Now that I think of it, I think if I saw Sasuke I would rip out his throat.-

He sweatdropped and faked another yawn, stretching and raising his head.Iruka was humming while he stirred and seperated the noodles with a wooden stirring spoon. Kakashi was watching him with a faraway look in his eyes.

Jeez, when is Iruka sensei going to finally return Kakashi sensei's feelings?-

Iruka scooped the steaming noodles into two seperate bowls and placed them in front of him and Kakashi along with two pairs of chopsticks.

"Iruka sensei, aren't you hungry?" Naruto asked, tilting his head slightly and blinking while he slurped up his noodles.

Iruka flushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly,"I'm on a diet at the moment, so only fruits and vegetables for me."

Kakashi stared blankly at the other man,"You're...on a diet?"

Iruka twitched dangerously, leaning forward on the counter and facing the bored looking jounin."Hai."

Momentary silence...

"Ah..I see.."Kakashi returned to playing with his noodles, waiting until both Iruka and Naruto were too preoccupied before quickly downing the noodles in record time, mask quickly pulled back up.

Naruto smiled as he remembered the time when he, Sasuke, and Sakurachan had attempted to see what was underneath their senseis mask and had failed, exasperated when at the day's end Kakashi finally showed them, only to reveal another mask underneath.

Iruka was also eyeing the silver haired nin with a regretful look, obviously curious as to what was under the mask. Kakashi noticed the both of them staring and closed his eyes.

"Nani?"

"N-nothing."Iruka replied and took Kakashi's empty bowl to the sink. Naruto finished his a moment later and handed it off to Iruka, blinking when Iruka just stood there with the bowl in his hands.

"Eh?"

Brown eyes gazed down into his deep blue ones expectantly.

"Ah..Arigatou Iruka sensei!"Naruto said hurriedly, grinning.

"Tch, children these days." Iruka sniffed and went to cleaning and putting away the dishes.

Kakashi glanced sideways at the clock over the sink and sighed tiredly, standing up and waving over his shoulder as he headed for the door,"I have to go get my mission, ja."

Iruka turned, looking hesitant,"Oh-" The door shut and he looked crestfallen.

"Iruka sensei, why don't you just seduce him? Its obvious you like him."Naruto muttered.

Iruka turned to loom over him, thunder cracking behind him with a blinding flash of lighting."What was that Naruto chan?I couldn't hear you.."

"Uhmm..I..Im gonna go out for a bit, ok?"Naruto sweat dropped and headed for the door.

He jumped when Iruka squeezed his shoulder.The blonde turned slowly to stare at Iruka's feet.

"We could always find something to do here.."

Naruto tried to bite back to shame that was welling in him. Iruka was worried about him..and he was afraid Naruto would try and kill himself again."Well, I was actually thinking of visiting Shikamaru.."

"Oh..do you want me to come with you?"Iruka coaxed, trying not to sound desperate.

He was failing horribly.

Naruto bit his bottom lip and hung his head further so his face was shadowed by his blonde locks."Iruka sensei..Im not going to do anything to hurt myself..I just..want to try and make things the way they were."He raised his watery blue eyes to stare at Iruka with a pleading glint.

Iruka's hand slid from his shoulder and he smiled softly,"Ok..but remember..I'll be at the academy. If you need ANYTHING-"

"I'll come to you."Naruto finished with a wry grin before bounding at the door while waving.

Iruka straightened and gazed at the door for a while before sighing and going to his room to change.

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Ok...pretty uneventful chapter..but I really wanted to update this story and so..yeah.Next chapter has more excitement and brotherly love between Shikamaru and Naruto. I'll only say this..Shikamaru finds out..and..

shifty eyes- that is for you to find out.

My writer's block finally went away. lol. And now that I've finally written this long pointless chapter, I have my mind back on track and I know how to continue and finish off the story. So hopefully the next update will be within a couple days..


	10. This Lonely Soul

Naruto shivered slightly when he felt heated glares directed at him, he knew he should be used to it by now, but..it was never easy to accept that nearly everyone hated you and wanted you dead. Sometimes it made you...

"Oi, Naruto!"

The blonde blinked and twitched when he recognize the bark following.-Kiba and Akamaru.-

"Baka inu."Naruto stuck out his tongue and turned.

Kiba didn't hit him over the head though, he was scrutinizing the blonde intensely, looking him up and down with a serious expression on his face. Naruto felt his heartrate increase, thumping painfully in his chest and threatening to suffocate him. If they all knew..he couldn't live with it. He just couldn't..they would look at him different. Look at him with PITY. If Kiba knew..The image of Iruka hugging him tightly and Kakashi smiling reassuringly.

Biting his tongue and swallowing the blood, he forced a grin onto his face,"What are you staring at dog boy? See something you like?"

Kiba blushed and deadpanned,"naw, Sasuke was looking all upset. When Sakura asked him about it in front of us..he just said 'dobe'.Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"He elbowed his blonde friend, wiggling his dark brows suggestively.

"Gah!"Naruto bopped him, accidentally hitting Akamaru instead. Akamaru bit into his hand and held tight. Naruto shook his hand frantically, trying to free it, and paled when the overly large sleeved slid pasthis elbow to reveal the tightly bandaged arm.

Kiba blinked and squinted, leaning closer,"Oi, you and Sasuke went overboard sparring again, eh?"

Naruto tried to force air into his constricting chest, finally jerking his arm so sharply Akamaru went flying into Kiba. Kiba caught the dog and sniffed at Naruto,"What's up your ass, baka!"

"I have somewhere to be, teme."He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned away,"maybe I'll waste my time on you later."

Kiba raised his fist and growled, but stopped when Akamaru began yipping frantically. The dog boy blinked and looked down at Akamaru, listening.

Naruto's steps quickened and quickly took him to the lush forests and hillsides surrounding Konoha. He wandered for hours, random thoughts and memories flashing through his head as he slowly made his way towards the great cliff where he had trained with his summoning jutsu and the perverted frog hermit.

Should I really regret trying to commit suicide?..I feel guilty..but not for myself..I still feel I would be glad to die. Its because of Iruka and Kakashi..and not only them but everyone else..Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji, Chouji, Sakura, Ino, and hell even Gaara..Sasuke wanted me to die though..it would have made him happy..-The blonde moodily scuffed his foot against a rock in the path and raised his head when the trees ended and it became a flat plane around the cliff. He sat on the edge and dangled his legs over the side, furrowing his fine blonde brows.-Maybe he was right, maybe I am being selfish. But Ive smiled and held on for so long..just for him..and he just throws it back in my face. Damnit! Ive earned to be selfish just this one time. Just one last time..-Naruto clenched his fist around a stray rock and sighed in defeat, tossing it over the edge and leaning over to watch it descend into the endless pit.

He lay back and stared at the clouds, slowly allowing his facial features to relax and even smiled a little to himself when the pounding headache that had been nagging at him the entire morning finally began to receed. Watching the clouds and bright blue sky, he didn't notice the quiet footsteps that approached him from behind, nor when they stopped. Naruto jumped in startlement as dark hair slowly came forward to hang loosely above his head, blocking his view of the clouds. For a long moment, he thought it was Sasuke, but smiled in relief when he recognized the lazy chunin.

"Oi, Naruto. What are you doing watching clouds on the side of a cliff? Baka..you're going to fall off."Shikamaru grumbled, plopping down beside him and supporting his weight comfortably on his elbows. He threw back his head, black ponytail swaying in the wind, and turned his dark eyes to the sky.

His companion eyed him curiously then followed his gaze to the sky,"how did you know I was out here?"

"You passed me while you were coming up here."

"Oh.."

They sat in comfortable silence for awhile, Shikamaru breaking it by completely laying down and folding his hands behind his head, expression never changing,"what's going on between you and Sasuke?"

"Jeez..Why is everyone asking me that?"

The chunin shrugged,"Sasuke was acting weird..it was a little..scary.."

Naruto barked out a laugh and smiled wryly, if a little bitterly, and turned slightly to his friend,"he's probably just acting all sore because we actually tied for once in sparring the other day."

"Ah.."Shikamaru murmured, eyes snapping to the side to lock with his.

Naruto felt sweat trickle down his cheek and down his neck, causing him to shiver."Oi...why are you staring at me like that?"

The other's eyes sharpened, abruptly becoming angry, before reverting back to their calm state."I ran into Kiba.."

"I thought you said-"

"Kiba was going to follow you up here. I said I'd take care of it.Troublesome.."Shikamaru replied tonelessly with a tired sigh.

Naruto swallowed, willing his animilistic urge to run down,"w-what?"

"Naruto. Why are you lying to us?"

"What are you-"

"Stop."The dark haired nin sat up and stare down at him intensely,"Akamaru smelled the fresh wound on your arm, mixed with the metallic smell of a kunai. There was no one else's scent mixed with the blood on your arm before it healed. It was self inflicted."

Naruto sat up as well and hugged his knees to his chest, glaring at Shikamaru."Why the fuck would you think I would do something like that!"

Shikamaru closed his eyes, not raising his voice with Naruto, instead he spoke softly, not in an angry way, but in a disappointed and saddened way that spoke of grief and betrayal,"I don't know, Naruto. I really don't know.."

The wind whistled through their hair, causing Naruto to raise his arm to brush blonde locks from his eyes. Shikamaru caught his wrist and slid up the sleeve, touching a finger gently to the bandages. Naruto bit his lip and watched the calloused finger.

"Kiba was really worried about you Naruto. He and Akamaru..they looked scared. I told him not to go telling everyone..I trust him not to.I...It really scares me Naruto.."

Naruto's head snapped up as he pulled his arm away, staring at his friend with wide eyes.His mouth opened and shut helplessly when Shikamaru clenched his fist and closed his eyes, turning away as tears trailed down his cheeks."You're always so happy... Everyone depends on you so much no matter what they say or do. You're one of the only people who I want to stay close to for the rest of my life, you're like a brother to me, Naruto.You, Kiba, me, Chouji, Neji, did you forget all about us? Our team? What would Sasuke do!"

"SASUKE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT!"

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open,"What did he do?"

Naruto was hesitant, he had never seen his friend break down like this, he wasn't sure what he was capable of doing."It doesn't matter. Shikamaru.."The blonde looked up and sniffed softly, grabbing his friend and clinging to him,"I could never forget about the team...if I...if I can..force myself through this somehow...Im gonna become a chunin..and you'll be a jounin..and we'll all be on a team and work together.."Sniff."But I just...I want to end it all so badly..I cant.."

Shikamaru dug his dull fingernails into the black material of the borrowed jounin attire of Kakashi, clinging to his friend and the lazy expression sliding back onto his face when he realized that his small blonde friend needed support, not an overprotective brother."If you try it again Naruto..all of us..we're going to beat the shit out of you. Don't even THINK of it. Im dead serious.."

They held eachother in silence for a few awkward minutes before releasing the tight hold they had on eachother. Naruto smiled wetly at his friend and sniffed cutely, wiping a tear from his large deep blue eye."As if."He let out a shaky laugh, unable to meet Shikamaru's eyes,"I could take you all on with my Sexy no Jutsu!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shook his head, laying back down,"As if, baka."

Naruto smiled fondly down at him before standing. Shikamaru's eyes flickered up to his briefly before he waved his hand,"Mah, I'll catch up to you later..Im gonna watch the clouds for awhile."

"Hai."Naruto replied and ran down the path towards the village.

Shikamaru smiled softly at the sky,"don't give up, Naruto.We're all here to back you up."  
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Eh..a bit corny, once again. I sound like a broken recordO.o Author notes are basically the same in every chapter lmao. Unfortunately..once again..short chapter..though I can't exactly say I regret it. To capture the moment, and keep that emotion with you for awhile, you have to cut it off at the end of a really emotional scene. -sweatdrop- if that makes any sense. I swear it does in my mind.

Eh, people are getting impatient to see when Sasuke reappears. He will, fear not! I said before that it would only be a few more chapters...-scratches head sheepishly- well...this story might live to be around twenty chapters.lol I still have a lot of plans for this story. I hope it doesnt get ridiculously boring.

Review please!


	11. Crawling in The Dark

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Chapter Eleven

Note: I'm finally updating, it's a bad habit that I always go off for about a month at the beginning of summer, but I can't really help it. So I'm finally updating.O-o;

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Naruto stopped and leaned against a tree as he came closer to the village. He slowly placed his hand over his heart and sighed slowly, a small smile gracing his face as a single tear trailed down his shadowed face the shatter on the ground.

"Who needs Sasuke bastard?…I have people that love me…"-Thankyou Shikamaru…-The blonde swiped the thin trace of tears from his cheek before straightening and pushing his sleeves up over his elbows, bandages standing stark white against the dark material.

-I'm not going to hide it like a scared rabbit…it was a training accident. Just slowly repair and piece together everything Naruto…life will go back to the way it was.-

Following the stone walkway back to the village, it was easier to bear the piercing glares and hateful whispers that plagued him from all directions. Turning to follow the path towards the academy, he spotted Hinata in the fenced corner, repeatedly hitting and kicking the dummy.

Her sweatshirt was removed so she wouldn't overheat in the hot weather, and underneath she wore a oversized navy blue tank top with her normal capris.

"Yo, Hinata!"

The shy girl's head snapped around and pupilless eyes widened before a blush flooded her face.

Naruto frowned as the girl stuttered uncertainly, tripping as she looked for her jacket.

"Oi, what are you doing training here all alone?"

"I-I wanted to get in some training f-for the chunin exams…"She murmured, finally stopping and straitening from her frantic search. Her small pale hands twisted the hem of her tanktop as she shyly met his eyes. "H-how are you, Narutokun?"

Naruto smiled and bent to retrieve her jacket, walking over to join her. She shyly took the jacket from his hands and held it to her chest, eyeing it fondly in a way that made Naruto blink.

"Uh…sorry, I don't think my hands are too dirty.."

"N-n-no! I.."Embaressed by her own outburst, the small girl swallowed and pushed her fingers together, biting her bottom lip, " I just…thankyou for picking it up for me."

Slinging an arm about the girl's shoulders, Naruto smiled easily, ignoring her growing blush, "Ah, Hinata chan. You need to loosen up and stop being so shy! You hide beneath that coat all the time like that baka Kiba! Seriously, go to Sakura and her and Ino will go crazy and give you an entire makeover. You need more friends!"

Hinata smiled and ducked her head, lips trembling, "y-you really think so, Nautokun?"

"Of course!"

The girl's eyes darted over his shirt and pants, a small frown replacing her shy smile. "W-why are you wearing a jounin uniform?"

Naruto tensed before relaxing, arm sliding from her shoulders so he could pick at the uniform with a sheepish smile.

"I stayed over at Irukasensei's house last night and Kakashi came over. I didn't have any clothes to sleep in so I just wore these to bed and I just got up a while ago so I said 'what the hell!' haha.."

Hinata smiled, "I t-think its cool t-that you don't care about what other people t-think Naruto.."

The blonde blushed and rubbed the back of his head, "really, Hinatachan?"

She blushed at the endearment and nodded. Eyeing the bandage, she hesitantly opened her mouth.

"I got this training with that Sasuke-bastard. Psht, it didn't even hurt but Irukasensei insisted that he bandage it."Naruto smiled. "Speaking of Iruka, I have to go see him right now, but maybe I could drag you with me to go get some ramen later today?"

"I would like that very much, Narutokun."Hinata smiled brilliantly, not stuttering once as she flushed happily.

"Great! I'll find you when I'm done!Ja!"The blonde waved, running around the front and through the wooden doors.

Smiling happily, he yipped when he ran into something soft. "oowww…"

"Dobe?"

Naruto froze, looking up at Sasuke. "O-oh..its you."

The other boy raised a brow, dark eyes assessing the boy in front of him, eyes snapping to the bandage.

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Dun dun DUNNNNNNN. I know, I suck. But it's the fourth of july and this is all I could really write.O-o; So be glad! cough But I had to put my beloved hinata in this…so..yeah…reviews please!


	12. Buried Myself Alive

Naruto opened his mouth to rudely ask what the teme was looking at but was interrupted by a slight tensing in the other's shoulders.

Instead of exploding, the darker haired nin reached out, ingoring Naruto's cringe, and cradled the injured appendage gently in his hand, running slim fingers across the slightly dirty bandages.

Flushing, Naruto's mind raced.

'He's going to see, pull your arm away! What the hell are you doing!'

The blonde started, mind awakening as he made to jerk away, only to gasp in alarm and horror when he saw the other's brow furrowed in concentration as he narrowed his eyes on the wound, sharigan wheels spinning frantically in his dark irises.

Then Sasuke blinked and the moment passed. Naruto jerked his arm again and this time it came free. Hastily, he pulled the sleeves down, blushing with embaressment and shame as he rubbed the cloth.

"I just lost any previous respect I held for you."The other boy murmured huskily, his face hidden by dark bangs as he pushed past the other boy.

Snapping, Naruto turned and grabbed the others sleeve, red seeping into cloudless blue,"YOU...Why the fuck should I care if you EVER held any respect for me! Im not asking for friggen pity here! But it would be nice to see you show emotion just ONCE Sasuke. Please..just this once..don't walk away from me.." Naruto choked, going down on his knees and letting his tanned hands slip down the other's arm to loosely hold onto Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke tensed, turning slightly to stare down at him emotionlessly,"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't, dobe."

"Cause I fucking LOVE you, you idiot!"

There was an unbearable silence, only broke by Naruto's pained gasp of realization when he felt his heart shatter and he let his hand slide from Sasuke's.

"You don't love me."

'What..what is he talking about...'Naruto thought dully, staring at the dirt and waiting for retribution.

"You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to walk away from ME, Naruto." Sasuke continued, turning away once more but not leaving. A shuddering sigh escaped the tense brunette and he stuffed a hand into his pocket. "Do us all a favor and stop LYING. Stop lying to me and stop pretending that you're so fucking happy!"

A lone tear wet the side of Naruto's face as he stared unblinkingly at the ground, saliva joining it as he fought not to throw up.

"Its not right... my whole clan was destroyed..I don't pretend to be happy! You pretended and lied so no one would know then you just quietly try and out yourself! I would have helped you...fuck you Naruto.."Sasuke bit out,"I thought..."He swallowed and took a breathe,"I thought we were friends.."

"Sasuke I-"

"Shut up! You're just like everyone else..you all leave me, leave me here alone with nothing and no one!"

Wincing at the force of the others words, Naruto still couldn't find the energy to protest.

Sasuke smirked coldly, turning to look down at him and ignoring the tears that were gathering on his eyelids."You..you don't know what love is.."

Naruto gasped again and swallowed the pooling saliva, covering his face with one hand while the injured lay limply in the dirt. "Please..please don't do this to me.."

"Why not, usurontakachi? You fucking did it to me!"Sasuke shouted.

The blonde opened his mouth, raising his head with a pleading glint in his now placid blue eyes.

"What's this, a lover's quarrel?"A deep voice interrupted.

Jumping in startlement, Naruto looked from his position on his knees to the toothpick chewing Genma.

The chestnut haired man frowned when he saw Sasuke's tense shoulders and Naruto's tear-streak face and the jounin uniform he was wearing.

"I don't even want to know.." He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing the back of his head as he strode past.

"I love you..Sasuke I love you..but you..you just don't understand! I can't live with you hating me..please..don't hate me..I can't..live with you hating me.."

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?"

Naruto sobbed, exhaustion causing him to double over slightly,"Yes, are you happy? Im some pathetic love struck fangirl who obsesses over you even though I don't have a chance! I want you to notice me and smile and laugh and hold hands and..I want all of you..But you can't..you won't open up.."

There was a dull thud when the Uchiha heir fell beside Naruto in the dirt on his knees, wrapping his arms loosely about his dobe,"Naruto, just shut up... I've been here..all along I've been right here.. All this fucking drama and pain..just because you couldn't tell me you felt the same way I feel about you?"

"You...you do..!"Naruto jerked up his head, nearly connecting with Sasuke's chin.

"Idiot..I don't know if I love you..but...its more than friendship... If you promise to never fucking try to hurt yourself again.."

Naruto was already nodding, a nearly hysterical smile contorting his face as unnoticed tears continued to pour down whiskered cheeks."That's all I wanted..that's.."

The brunette looked away, face flushed with embaressment."Don't look at me like that dobe..."

"G-gomen.."The blonde stuttered, giddy with relief as he wrapped his arms around the taller Sasuke.

"Maybe we can make this work.."Sasuke murmured to himself and Naruto,"maybe we can help eachother heal..."

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I havent updated this story in SO LONG! And I know its a lot of hoo ha for one chapter..but ...this scene really needed to happen. lol. Of course there's many more chapters to come, but I might just do a sequel story to that...and Im sorry the chapters aren't as long as I wanted them to be..unfortunately I believe I don't have the brain capacity to do fifty paragraphs for one chapters...sorryyy...


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